I CAN MAKE IT BETTER

So, this is the first blog ever created under my real name, Caolan Madden. I'm going to have to keep it pretty tame, because I don't want it to become a blot on my professional prospects. I'm not worried about future romantic partners googling me and finding out all about my dark secrets, because I'm married, and I don't think my husband will really be very surprised at anything I post here. I am worried that maybe someday we will have children and they will find this blog, and then an axe will fall on their heads and they will be dead! But as my beloved husband and my beloved Marilla Cuthbert would both say, "Don't borrow a cup of trouble from tomorrow! Instead, make an insoluble mark under your legal, Christian, maiden, and permanent name, Caolan Madden."

The name of this blog, as you might have noticed, is O MONSIEUR HOW SHE HAS HURT YOU. This is a line from a song by my once & future band. I won't tell you the name of the band because what if it damages my once & future professional prospects? The problem with this blog is going to be that I'm going to want to tell you something juicy and/or disturbing and/or hilarious and instead it will be sort of tantalizingly hinted at behind a lot of rambling about my once & future professional prospects. It will be like reading pornography in China, except maybe if I were writing pornography in China I would be headless. Anyway, the reason I have chosen O MONSIEUR HOW SHE HAS HURT YOU as the name for this blog is that 1) it is one of my favorite songs because I made it up; 2) it is also the name of a mediocre poem I wrote once (did you know that I sometimes write poems?) and 3) the purpose of this blog is to comfort you, monsieur*, after all the horrible ways in which She* Has Hurt You.

*Ow, gender, complicated. All you need to know right now is that I am aware of this. In any case: every day, and in every way, I will strive to MAKE IT BETTER, where IT is a referent for many, many things.