FRIENDSHIP DAY

Last week we invited many of our friends over and celebrated FRIENDSHIP DAY, which is on February 12. I suppose it could be on February 11-15 depending on what suits your schedule. The main point about FRIENDSHIP DAY is it's not about eros; whether it's about philia or storge or some other kind of love I don't know about is unclear. On FRIENDSHIP DAY you invite all your friends over (like we did) and then you exchange heart-shaped FRIENDSHIP DAY cards and eat heart-shaped FRIENDSHIP DAY cookies. When a guest leaves, everyone tells him or her how great his or her job is. If the guest doesn't have a job, you can congratulate him/her on his/her life and/or friends. If you can't even congratulate the friend on his/her friends, you are a sorry set of people and I am sorry for you! and I hope that the nice work you did on your FRIENDSHIP DAY cards helps you to develop better self-esteem.

To get you started on next year's FRIENDSHIP DAY celebration, here are some photographs:

You can serve FRIENDSHIP DAY cookies on a fancy dessert thing.


Why not set up a FRIENDSHIP DAY cookie station where guests can make their own FDCs?


A card-craft station is essential to any FRIENDSHIP DAY celebration.


FRIENDSHIP DAY cards can make you feel sunny and well-loved . . .


or they can be literary . . .


culturally and technologically relevant . . .


politically somewhat topical . . .


they can reference somewhat recent popular movies . . .


They should DEFINITELY make use of holiday stickers available in mid-February . . .


And they can make you a little bit uncomfortable . . .


or even VERY uncomfortable. It's OK!


Friendship martinis are optional. If used, they should contain enough sugar to cause your friends to slow down and pass out in your La-Z-Boy, which will prolong the amount of time you will be able to enjoy their friendship.

HAPPY BELATED FRIENDSHIP DAY!

I CAN MAKE IT BETTER

So, this is the first blog ever created under my real name, Caolan Madden. I'm going to have to keep it pretty tame, because I don't want it to become a blot on my professional prospects. I'm not worried about future romantic partners googling me and finding out all about my dark secrets, because I'm married, and I don't think my husband will really be very surprised at anything I post here. I am worried that maybe someday we will have children and they will find this blog, and then an axe will fall on their heads and they will be dead! But as my beloved husband and my beloved Marilla Cuthbert would both say, "Don't borrow a cup of trouble from tomorrow! Instead, make an insoluble mark under your legal, Christian, maiden, and permanent name, Caolan Madden."

The name of this blog, as you might have noticed, is O MONSIEUR HOW SHE HAS HURT YOU. This is a line from a song by my once & future band. I won't tell you the name of the band because what if it damages my once & future professional prospects? The problem with this blog is going to be that I'm going to want to tell you something juicy and/or disturbing and/or hilarious and instead it will be sort of tantalizingly hinted at behind a lot of rambling about my once & future professional prospects. It will be like reading pornography in China, except maybe if I were writing pornography in China I would be headless. Anyway, the reason I have chosen O MONSIEUR HOW SHE HAS HURT YOU as the name for this blog is that 1) it is one of my favorite songs because I made it up; 2) it is also the name of a mediocre poem I wrote once (did you know that I sometimes write poems?) and 3) the purpose of this blog is to comfort you, monsieur*, after all the horrible ways in which She* Has Hurt You.

*Ow, gender, complicated. All you need to know right now is that I am aware of this. In any case: every day, and in every way, I will strive to MAKE IT BETTER, where IT is a referent for many, many things.